Talking with Professors | Roommate Conflict

Tips for Talking to Professors

Talking to a professor–out of genuine curiosity, a genuine interest in learning, a genuine desire to improve–is one of the smartest things a college student can do. Few students make it through college without seeking assistance from a professor for help at one time or another. In fact, it’s important to seek help rather than let questions or problems fester and intensify.

Professors want you to see them as a resource. They hold office hours for a reason, yet many students avoid these unless required to attend. Remember, unless you let your professors know otherwise, they assume you’re doing fine in the class (or you’re at least ok with how you’re doing). They can’t help if you don’t ask or seek them out!

So, how do you approach professors for one-on-one time?

1. Be respectful and mannerly. Call them by right title.
Before asking “What are your office hours?”, check your syllabus. If hours aren’t listed or won’t work, ask your professor when he or she can meet with you. A reasonable professor will understand that office hours cannot accommodate every student’s schedule. When you arrive, knock on the door, even if it’s open, and greet your professor by name. Most professors let you know what they want to be called.  When in doubt, go with “Dr. [last name].”

2. Be prepared – professors are not mind readers.
Unless you’re just stopping by to chat (which is fine, by the way), have your questions prepared in advance.  You need to be able to clearly articulate what it is you need help with.  Besides, planning your agenda in advance helps ensure you don’t forget what you came there to do.  Also, be sure to bring any necessary materials with you.

If you are having difficulty in a course, let your professor know that you realize it, and ask what you can do to improve. If you want to talk to a professor about something during office hours or via email–about a question that you didn’t get to ask in class or an idea that you want to discuss–just do the best you can. Your professor will very likely meet your genuine interest with kindness and encouragement.

3. Your professor is not Harry Potter.
Don’t ask the impossible of your professors. They are here to help you, but they are also restricted by course and departmental policies. Whatever your circumstances, professors have to hold you to the same standards and workload as the rest of the class. So go ahead and inquire about make-up work, extra credit, and other opportunities, but be prepared to do the work, and don’t expect easy outs. Brace yourself for disappointment, and if your professor says “no,” be prepared with a Plan B option and perspective. Also, if the conversation doesn’t go as planned, remember that I’m available to meet with you to discuss alternative resources and options.

4. Don’t wait. At the end, it’s too late.
You will not get far by approaching your professor at the end of the semester and declaring that you will lose your scholarship, get dismissed from school, etc., if you don’t receive a certain grade in the class. As you see signs of falling short of certain requirements as a JMU student, member of an organization, or scholarship recipient, meet with your professors. They most certainly agree that your grade is important, but in the end they cannot be held responsible for your earned grade or personal circumstances.

With midterms grades being posted soon, it’s a great time to assess your performance and see if a chat with your professor is something to consider.

Final thoughts – If you know you’re going to miss class, try to let your professors know ahead of time. If you’re sick, contact them. If you need an extension, ask before the due date, not after.

Tips for a Good Roommate Relationship

Is your roommate driving you crazy? Has the honeymoon worn off? Don’t sweep the problems under the rug and think they will get better. Take a look at a blog post from the summer  for some tips on how to get your relationship on the right track. If you need more information or help, your Resident Advisor is a great place to start. He/she can help draft a roommate agreement, mediate a dispute or conflict, find alternative solutions, and so on.

Housing Information & Roommate Advice

If you have not done so already, you can now sign into the One Book website to view your Housing Assignment and Roommate Information. Go to the “View Housing Assignment and Roommate Notification” step on the One Book website and you will see your move-in date, hall assignment and room number, and your roommate’s contact information. 

Living in a residence hall is a great opportunity to get to know your fellow Dukes!  Because the vast majority of residence hall rooms are doubles, you should expect to have a roommate when you live on campus. Sharing a living space may be an entirely new experience for you, so it makes sense that this sudden change in lifestyle may be a challenging transition. But, try not to worry; ninety-two percent of JMU first-year students report they are compatible with their assigned roommate. So, chances are great that you will have a positive experience, too! And, the Office of Residence Life is always available to help!  Each building has a staff of Resident Adviser (RAs) who can help you complete a Roommate Agreement, which will get you and your roommate talking about how you want to live together.  RAs are also trained in conflict resolution and mediation, so they can help if there’s a time that you and your roommate find yourself in a bad spot. If you have any questions related to your housing experience, email res-life@jmu.edu or call (540) 568-4663.

Tips for a Good Roommate Relationship

While you’re getting ready to come to JMU in a few weeks, I suggest you begin thinking about how to develop good relationship with your roommate. Ponder your likes, dislikes, and what really annoys you. Also, be mindful of the other person’s quirks and things he/she may request of you. Living with a college roommate is about setting boundaries so that everyone is comfortable to live, work, and play in the residence hall.

While living with a roommate inevitably has its challenges, it can also be a fabulous part of your college experience. Follow these tips for a supportive and positive roommate relationship. 

1. Call first, don’t click. Once you’ve found out your assigned roommate, don’t just rely on Facebook, Twitter, or texting to get to know someone. As they say, you can’t judge a book by its cover. People are more than the pictures they post on social networking sites. There’s nothing wrong with using these sites, but also give your roommate a call to simply introduce yourself and to discuss who is bringing what.

2. Be clear from the beginning. Don’t let problems pile up. Are you a neat freak? Do you need ten minutes to yourself before speaking to anyone right after waking up? Do you plan to use your room mainly for studying? Let your roommate know about your little quirks and preferences as soon as possible. People can’t read minds, so do your best to communicate what you need. This little effort can go a long way to help eliminate problems before they become problems. Addressing things that bug you when they’re little can help your roommate be aware of something he/she may not otherwise know. And, addressing things when they are still little is much easier than when they’ve become big. While the Office of Residence Life and your RA is there to help you with a roommate conflict, ultimately, the first one to know about the roommate conflict should be the roommate.
3. You don’t have to be best friends. Don’t go into this relationships expecting to be best friends for the next 4 years. It may happen, but expecting it may set you both up for trouble. Be friendly and respect your roommate and his/her space. And, you never know, you could become life-long friends!
4. Be open to new things. Your roommate may be from someplace you’ve never heard. She may have an accent that is hard to understand. He may have a different religion or lifestyle that is completely different than your own. You may have totally opposite values and interests. Being open to new ideas, experiences, and people is important as it relates to what your roommate brings into your life. College is a time to be open to new things, and that begins with your roommate relationship.
5. Be open to change. You should expect to learn, grow, develop, and change during your time at JMU. This is a time of great transition for you, and your roommate. As the year progresses, realize things will change for each of you. Be comfortable addressing things as they evolve and adapting to your changing environment. 
6. Respect your roommate’s stuff. This sounds simple, but it’s probably one of the biggest sources of roommate conflict. Don’t think he’ll mind if you borrow his cleats for the intramural soccer game? Don’t think she’ll mind if you borrow her sweater? Don’t borrow, use, or take anything without getting permission first. If nothing else, follow the Golden Rule. Treat your roommate like you’d like to be treated. 

If these tips weren’t enough, check out this great video created by students from Boston University about how to make the most of your roommate relationship.

When the video gets to the part that says, “Welcome to BU!”... Just think, “Welcome to JMU!” - and aren’t you glad to be here more?!?!